Plot lines no longer allowed:

  • Car won’t start
  • “You don’t understand!”
  • Just play along.
  • “Hide your wrongdoing, no one will ever find out, just keep spinning bigger and bigger lies!” Said every Disney live action kids show ever.
  • Stupid adults
  • Are we done here?/Can I go now?/Can I go home? (just admit that you’re guilty right now)
  • Cops/Military/Doctors that don’t listen to anything ever ever ever
  • Exploding cars/every car accident = fireball of doom
  • Showering at midnight at abandoned campground/mental facility/dorm, you know, like ya do.
  • Maniacal laughing. Constantly. For No. Reason. At. All. Somebody just shoot the fucker.
  • Girls that can’t wink should not try.
  • No one blows kisses, do not try.
  • No eating apples on screen, please. It’s not medieval, and it’s not fun to listen to.
  • Close-miking of anyone eating anything. Do not.
  • “No, no, really, it’s nothing…” from people that should damn well be reporting this shit asap.
  • Professional __________ that know shit about ___________
  • Outright dismissal of clear evidence, and just moving on like no one is going to notice.
  • Stupid dads that can’t change a diaper or wipe a nose or anything beyond grunt
  • Stupid dads that can’t fix anything ever
  • Water does not shoot straight up from a drain. Ever.
  • Don’t check if he’s dead, just assume everything goes as planned.
  • Super-Ultra eyeballs that can see a bulge in a pocket from across town, or spot someone in a crowd from 5 blocks away
  • Super-Ultra hearing so that one guy on the opposite end of a crowded stadium can speak normally, yet address thousands of people. In 1200 B.C.
  • “Look! There he is!” 300 yards away in a crowd. Seriously?
  • Snipers with handguns shooting things miles away
  • Snipers shooting with the barrel hanging out the window
  • Anyone with a handgun hitting anything beyond 50 feet while running
  • Security footage with obvious moves/pans/scans/zooms
  • Asking questions and getting no answers at all or utterly random responses like everyone is crazy
  • Zoom! Enhance!!
  • Ook Ook! Pretty nurse!! Grunt. Grunt. No answer question. Zog rather die. Ok, stepped on nail. With dick. Light bulb in ass cuz I fell on it.
  • For the love of God, WATCH THE ROAD!!! Especially through the intersection with the trucks!
  • Doctors being risky and edgy and almost losing their license every single day
  • Next of kin being in the room during surgery micro-managing the surgeon

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